We Have Been Changed, For Good: Understanding Donors' Philanthropic Motivations
When you ask donors about their giving, they almost never say "because you sent me a good appeal letter."
Over the course of more than twenty years in nonprofit fundraising, I have had the privilege of asking a lot of donors a simple question: Why do you give?
Most fundraisers know to ask this question when they get the opportunity to talk to a donor in person. However, when fundraising staff are stuck in mode of putting out fires, it is all too easy to send the appeal, process the gift, mail the acknowledgment, and move on to the next appeal. This is unfortunate, because it bypasses the conversation with the donor, which can be the most fulfilling part of fundraising process! The donor remains a mystery, a name on a spreadsheet, a dollar amount in a fiscal year report.
I have had some magical conversations with donors over the years. These are the conversations that made me realize I was put on this earth to facilitate conversations with deeply philanthropic people and organizations with powerful and meaningful missions. And they taught me something fundamental about fundraising: People give for deeply personal reasons. Reasons that may have very little to do with your organization's programs, your case statement, or your annual fund goal.
Here is what I have heard many times from donors who shared their motivation for giving.
Some give out of gratitude.
For many donors, giving is a deeply personal and often spiritual expression of thankfulness for what they have received. They look at their own lives, their health, their family, their circumstances, and they feel a genuine impulse to share some of that abundance with others. The specific cause almost becomes secondary to the deeper motivation, which is a kind of joyful acknowledgment that they have been fortunate and want to act on that feeling.
I had lunch one day with a longtime donor. The conversation started out much like any other donor lunch. We talked about his family, his business, and his opinions about how the organization was doing. It wasn't until lunch was over and coffee arrived that things turned more personal. I asked him why he gave and his entire demeanor changed. He looked me in the eye and shared with a quiet passion that his spiritual beliefs were the driving force behind his philanthropic choices. He had felt tremendously blessed to overcome some personal and family health concerns, including a miraculous moment when he somehow understood that a family member would recover from a serious illness. From that point forward, he saw his philanthropy as a way of expressing a deep spiritual gratitude. That was one of the most moving conversations I have ever had the privilege of sharing.
These donors respond to stories. Not statistics, not program metrics, but real human stories that allow them to see themselves in the people you serve. Their giving is emotional and relational. When you send them a letter full of bullet points and outcome data, you are speaking a language that does not always resonate with them.
The best thank-you note you can send to a gratitude-motivated donor is a story about what their gift made possible as it relates to their individual motivation. Not the aggregate impact of all your donors combined. Something specific. Something that lets them feel the connection between their gift and a life that was touched.
Some give to be part of something larger than themselves.
These are your community builders. They give because they feel a sense of belonging to something, a place, a cause, a tradition, a circle of people who share their values. Their giving is an act of membership. It says: I am part of this.
One of my former board chairs was powerfully energized by asking others to join him in giving. This donor was not afraid of fundraising. In fact, he loved the challenge and he was an ardent evangelist for the mission of the organization. Not only did he champion philanthropy at his workplace, facilitating corporate gifts to the cause, he thrived on the thrill of asking his board peers to step up and give toward 100% participation. The more success he had, the more engaged he was. He was a development director's dream.
You see this often in donors who give to their alma mater, their local hospital, their community foundation, or their neighborhood arts organization. The institution is part of their identity. Their annual gift is less a financial transaction than a renewal of that connection.
What these donors want from you is community. They want to know who else is in the room. They want events where they can meet the people their gift supports and the other donors who share their commitment. They want to feel that their involvement is recognized, not just their check.
This is, not coincidentally, exactly what a giving cohort creates. When you invite a $250 donor into a $1,000 giving club with a name, an identity, and a recognition event, you are not asking them to spend more money. You are asking them to belong to something they already care about. For community-motivated donors, that is an easy yes.
Some give because giving feels extraordinary.
I have had donors describe the moment they make a gift in terms I would not have expected. Exhilarating is a word I have heard more than once. Joyful. Meaningful. Even addictive, in the best possible sense.
One day, the organization I was working for received, out of the blue, a five-figure gift from a first-time donor. Of course, I called this donor to thank her and ask for a meeting so that I could thank her in person. A widow, she was delighted by the outreach and to have an occasion to go out to lunch. She and her husband had saved consistently over the years. After her husband passed away, she opened a donor advised fund so that when she passed away, the fund trustee would continue to make donations to causes she cared about. I asked her about why she gave this particular gift, and she said that she wanted to honor the memory of a friend whom she thought would have appreciated the mission of the organization. It made her happy to do this, even though her friend was no longer able to appreciate her generosity and goodwill in thinking of them.
There is real neuroscience behind this. Giving activates the same reward pathways in the brain as receiving. Studies have found that people who give to others report higher levels of wellbeing than those who spend the same amount on themselves. The act of generosity is intrinsically rewarding in a way that is hard to explain but immediately recognizable to anyone who has experienced it.
For these donors, the gift itself is part of the experience they are seeking. They are not giving reluctantly. They are giving because it makes them feel alive.
What they need from you is permission to give at the level that matches how they feel. If your donation page only offers options up to $100, you have just told a donor who wanted to give $500 (or $5,000) that you do not expect that from them. Modern donation forms eliminate friction for donors to make it easy to give at whatever level and frequency is appropriate for them. Some donors may like the idea of donating on a monthly basis, rather than once a year. Others may prefer to give annually. Consider technology that allows for dynamic gift arrays on your donation forms. And don't forget to provide messaging that makes it easy for individuals considering major and planned gifts to implement their philanthropic wishes.
Some give to pay it forward.
These donors often have a specific story. They received help at some point in their lives, such as a scholarship, a food pantry that kept their family fed, a healthcare organization that served them when they had nothing. Or someone gave them a chance, a mentor, or a community that believed in them when they were finding their way.
I was working as a communications consultant, writing donor publications for a large academic institution with several medical practices associated with it. I was interviewing a well-known captain of industry who had received care from this medical practice. A grateful patient, he was very generous to this institution, and I asked him to tell me more about why he gave. He responded by saying that he owed the chairman of this department a huge debt of gratitude for his recovery. From that point forward, he was committed to giving as much as he could to ensure that others could benefit from the department's ongoing research and excellent care. He saw his philanthropy as an investment in the future, of the institution, of the department, and in the other patients whose lives would be improved by the extraordinary care they would receive.
They give because they want someone else to have that same experience. Their motivation is reciprocal in the deepest sense. It is not about the organization. It is about the chain of generosity they feel themselves to be part of.
These donors are often deeply loyal, consistent, and frequently modest. They may or may not accept recognition, but if they do, it is less about self-aggrandizement and more about using their position in society to signal to others that they, too, can and should step up. They give because the act of giving connects them to the moment someone gave to them, and that connection is meaningful in a way that persists long after the gift is processed and the tax receipt is filed.
What they need from you is the knowledge that the chain continues. They need to hear that the people your organization serves will one day pass that generosity forward. Close the loop for them.
What this means for how you raise money.
Too often, nonprofit communications are written for no one in particular. Generic appeals that describe programs and goals and ask for "your generous support" without ever acknowledging the incredibly varied and deeply human reasons why people actually open their wallets.
When you understand why your donors give, everything changes. Your appeals become conversations instead of announcements. Your thank-you calls become relationship moments instead of compliance tasks. Your events become gatherings of people who share a motivation, not just a mailing address.
Ask your donors why they give. Not in a survey, not in a focus group, but rather in a conversation. On the phone, over coffee, at an event. Be genuinely curious and listen without an agenda to see where the conversation goes.
To paraphrase a song from the musical Wicked, what you hear will change you, for good.
Curious whether your organization is ready to find the donors who are quietly waiting to give more? Take our quick self-assessment or reach out directly.